I heart Christmas Cards. They are the only thing worth celebrating in December. Taylor’s 401(k) was looking overloaded and I felt ambitious, so this year I went ahead and ordered 300 of Christmas cards.

THREE HUNDRED CARDS.

Now, that might seem excessive. Those cards, ideally, have to go somewhere that is not my house or else Taylor will get suspicious that I don’t have as many friends as I claim to have. If you’re thinking that that seems excessive, you’re correct. Not a surprise though. Surely I had enough recipients for the cards.

That number was directly quoted from my Facebook friends list. For a while I was cooking my heels on that sweet, well rounded number. But I forgot that some of those Facebook friends enjoy relations with each other, therefore share a home together. Some friends are dead. And others are annoyingly successful in their post high-school glow ups and should be avoided at all costs. And a select few meet all three criteria.

After all was said and done, the list whittled down to about TWO hundred.

TWO HUNDRED.

Well damn.

Who wants extra cards?