ABOUT

This blog is where I, Queen Mother Dictator-in-Charge CJ-

– share newsworthy updates about my family, cat pictures, and other streams of consciousness deemed important.

I started my first journal when I was eight years old. This is from the first entry in 2003:

“My grandpa died yesterday. It was really sad. Dad was crying. I saw my sister’s underwear through the see-through fireplace [at the care facility]. It was fun and funny.”

Fun and funny.

Trust me, I’m more mortified about this than you are. And it never got better.

Let’s talk about more significant dates in my life.

CUE A SUMMARY OF EVENTS!

  1. 1990’s: I was born as a gift to the world.
  2. 2007: In the 7th grade a kid named Jacob Black ran for 7th grade president by making a commercial of himself dressed as Harry Potter flying on a broomstick. This was possible because his mom had a green screen. The special effects of his campaign video alone guaranteed his election. I have no idea why this is seared into my memory.
  3. 2012: Twinkies went out of production.
  4. 2013: My husband and I decided to engage in a child marriage in December.
    Note about the timing: December is the literal worst month to pledge vows. NOBODY DO IT.
  5. 2014 – 2019: Kids started popping out of nowhere!
    Note about the kids: To protect their privacy, my kids are referred by their monikers Arrow, Archer, and Sander. The cat, Junior, goes by his legal name because he’s not worth paying ransom fees.
  6. 2015 – 2019: Moved around the country with the babies for college, and even went abroad for a summer in St. Petersburg, Russia! The Russia part is unrelated to school. That happened just because we enjoy getting screamed at in foreign accents.
  7. 2020: Taylor and I began teaching careers at the same school. Taylor taught Algebra and I taught Financial Literacy. Every Friday night we had a “grading party” with sushi, Psych, and our gradebooks. This is why no one invites us to parties.
  8. 2021: Today, Taylor still teaches Algebra, and I’m finishing my Business Marketing degree. We dissect movie plots for the sheer joy of it. This is why no one comes to movie nights.

This tactless online journal is a way of recording more significant events in our lives. I write mostly for family and friends, but also for filthy rich celebrities who may want to legally adopt us.

Enjoy!

xoxo, CJ