I went to pick up Archer from school by myself.

Normally, I’m a good mom, and bring my youngest along with me whenever I run errands. But this I chose to be a bad mother and go alone.

See, Sander had covid and was feeling pretty sick. I decided leave him comfortably at home with lunch and the iPad. I locked the doors to discourage predators / CPS who undoubtedly knew I was leaving him alone for the first time ever.

I’m only gone for a few minutes, I tried justifying to myself, he’ll be fine and no one will know about the one time I chose to be a bad mom.

Those were LIES. And not just because I’m blatantly outing myself on the internet.

As soon as I picked up Archer, we turned to go home speedy quick My stomach was in knots. I had timed myself getting to the school pickup and was dismayed to see that a “few minutes” was longer than I thought. Someone could have easily broken in, ate the cookies on top of the fridge, kidnapped my child, petted Junior, and drove 500 miles away to Alabama with my baby. Devastation was 110% certainly waiting at home.

Well.

Devastation was not waiting at home.

What happened was much worse.

Turns out, I didn’t have to worry about Sander getting kidnapped or someone stealing the cookies. Because Sander chose to leave.

Almost immediately, I saw a little boy in his black coat and black mask barreling down the sidewalk. Behind him was a full grown woman CHASING him, her lanyard flinging wildly about as she tried to keep pace with the impossibly fast 3 year old.

Oh.

My.

Gosh.

Was this CPS? A predator? A kidnapper? A well meaning mom who saw a little boy running away by himself and wisely thought to follow him?

WHO KNOWS.

The woman in pursuit introduced herself as the recess duty. She had seen Sander trotting across the field. He was too tiny to be a part of the usual crowd, so she tried to catch him. Sander thought it would be in his best interest to not get caught.

You guys.

According to the recess duty, Sander zoomed away, ran up into the playground, TOOK THE TIME TO RIDE DOWN A SINGLE SLIDE, and took off again to the carpool lane before she could grab him.

This story made my heart literally fall out of my butt. Right out of the cuff of my pants. It’s actually still laying there in the carpool lane if anyone wants it.

I had been so afraid of someone coming to put my baby in danger that I had forgotten that it is Sander who is the danger.

I looked at shock at my little son, who beamed with pride right back. He had outsmarted the grownups and he knew we knew it.

That night I talked to Sander about kidnappers. He did not take it as intended.

CJ: Someone might steal you and take you away, Bud. You have to do what Mommy says, even if she says to stay.

Sander: Someone mie wan me to be dere kid?

CJ: Yes. Wouldn’t that be so sad? If you weren’t with Mommy?

Sander: Oh 😦 I always wan to be wiff mawmee.

CJ: That’s right buddy. I always want you with me. Listen to Mommy, ok?

Sander: Ok! If you gone, I will come find you again!!!

CJ: 😮

Trust me. I am never, ever leaving this kid alone again.