Hello! It is 3:06 AM! I hope you’re sleeping! I am not!
My Aunt Michelle asked for an update on how finals are progressing. And you know what, it’s been a lot like laboring through childbirth. The pressure swells to pain-like spasms. I sacrifice my teeth to the constant crunchcrunchcrunch of Maverick ice cubes to keep adrenaline flowing. I will collapse in a pool of blood when this is all over. Oh, and I don’t control any of this. One does not “control” childbirth / finals / march madness team picks. One simply endures what is thrust upon them.
All that aside, things are fine. Here are the two classes that are single-handedly fueling this manic mood.
Tax Planning Course
I spent FOURTEEN HOURS STRAIGHT flushing out my 5 page outline into a 14 page TOME entitled “Tax Planning for Educators”.
IT IS FINISHED.
DOES THE PAPER MAKE SENSE? WHO’S TO SAY!
(Might be interesting to do a legitimate dissertation on this subject in the future though. Hmm… 🤔)
Background: Utah government took away teacher pension plans and said teachers could fund their 401(k)s themselves or die. My thesis: While this sitch super sucks, teachers can still enjoy retirement years through careful financial and tax planning. They shouldn’t have to do all that. But it’s making the most out of a crappy situation until things get better. And I’m all for making things better for these amazing people. By planning their annual tax burden for them apparently.
Financial Planning
There were 4 parts of this final. So far it’s taken a full 2 weeks and a sacrificial lamb to complete. SO FAR IT IS NOT FINISHED.
Here’s the final.
- Client Insurance Package Review ✅
- Oral presentation on said review ❌
- Reading class mates’ reviews ❌
- Final exam on the differing insurance products, their respectively same but differently named exclusions (why is this a thing???) and how insurance is a legal scam no you cannot change my mind on this. ❌
They say knowledge is power, but failed to mention that it’s the ✨power of self-awareness of your unwitting failures✨.
Before this class, I cheerfully assumed that the insurance company would build me a new home no questions asked if I chose to remodel and set the place ablaze. APPARENTLY NOT.
Also- more bad news?! Did you know earthquake damage coverage is not a given?! The Legal Doctrines of Utah state that we are due any day now for a 102.2 magnitude earthquake. Maybe bigger. And guess what? These dumpy little houses we millennials are paying half a million dollars for mean NOTHING to the homeowners insurance companies! Instead, the underwriters are making us live OUTSIDE where we’ll compete for most impressive beards among the mountain men who have been shaken out of their trees into the valley below. This is possibly the most devastating realization of all. THIS FACE IS TOO PRETTY FOR THOSE KIND OF HARDSHIPS.
Just when you think you’re getting ahead in life, smh.
Maternity Break
I do wish I could take another class before baby comes next spring. Something to pass the time instead of boondoggling Junior’s whiskers. Taylor has made helpful suggestions such as “Ask your professors for additional reading” and “Study for your license exam” and “Whoever is stealing my birthday candy, knock it off!”
We’ll see if I follow through on any of those ideas. Chances are it’s just gonna be me and this big cup of gas station ice crunchies.
in ✨conclusion ✨
Aunt Michelle, I do hope this answers your question. It is 4:19 am. I have run out of ice. But everything is fine!
🫠
The Jacobs Post 