First, there are cheers all around, for buying Utahn property is a stupidly difficult feat.

The next morning, there is a noxious stink. Waaaaait a minute – There’s a gas leak!

When the Dominion guy declares safety,

all return inside & develop colds and sick tummies.

Then the tub won’t drain. The toilet fills up with gray watery goo.

The family eats outside to avoid the overripe stench of poo.

The ancient pipes below-ground are blocked.

Luckily the husband is handy and clears the gunk out with a plumber’s glock.

So many little things to buy, the bank account is dwindling

Kids are busy hosting tea parties for snails to study

But even despite all the rough starts to a new home we are happy

happy to have a home to raise the family.