I, for one, do not give ear to government conspiracies.

That’s not a prideful political statement. Far from it. In fact, the whole reason I don’t tune in is because paranoid people stress me out. I can’t even figure out what the difference is between 1% and 2% milk anyway, so I just can’t handle the what ifs of the government doing shady things.

Except there is one thing that I know that governments across the world and history have been lying to us about all along. And they are jerks for doing it.

Spontaneous life, believe it or not, is a real thing! You guys! I know this because my leftover canned tomatoes have been growing creatures.

I do not have a picture. I am sorry for that. However, I can give you an accurate description of a tomato sitting in a fridge for a long time, and eventually growing so moldy, that the plastic container was being eaten from the inside out. No, seriously. As far as I know, that’s just not normal.

It was soon disposed. There wasn’t enough time for the tomatoes to complete the transformation in the fridge. Though, with the time that has passed, in some landfill somewhere, this little creature now roams the trash mountains.

I didn’t make that meme. Someone else did. Some other English speaking soul out in the world has witnessed the aftermath of food spontaneously birthing strange, fat creatures. People are starting to catch on.

I don’t know why this has been kept a secret for so long. Sure, I understand that the governments have intense things that they don’t want to share, in case of public panic and whatnot. But this isn’t something that would cause a huge amount of terror. Taylor and I are proof of that. All we did was burn the fridge, sell the house, and move to Australia, because we heard it’s loads safer as far as animals and people go. 

I think if the government was openly honest about this kind of stuff, then we’d all probably be better friends. Also, we would probably be a lot better at not letting food sit in our fridge while we were gone for the summer.

What’s the worst you’ve found in your fridge? Are there living creatures in your fridge too?!